loose change

spit rain spit out of the crack in the porcine Philadelphia

sky street hustlers routine: find a light, Newport, dollar

Most important: a trip out of Waterloo with a hit.

 

Nancy: gravid: head down &wandering

Into the rundown house too careless to shut the door

thanks for sweeping up Carol! yelling careless

careless without condoms sex with

 

Tommy: out of jail a couple months ago but still

still scraping streets for loose change.

now a grandfather a daddy a husband a thief

step sons steal drugs from daddy this

 

Mark yells to me use protection use protection

as he holds this unfamiliar girl by his side

met probably from the dirty methadone clinic

have fun hun, use protection, hun.

 

scatterbrained fumbling w/ keys to lock

i quickly carry-on out of this

this neighborhood change loose change

i am not among this change anymore.

 

Daydream in the Shower

it’s funny to say stay daydreaming in the shower

twist me inside out while i give it’s funny but i like

like to wear your soft plaid shirt/ it’s funny.

 

do that v that to me you do not do it’s funny to you

to you im a joke/ coward/ just object.  but i caught

you/ skimming in the shower/ it’s funny but i

 

used to like you now i am not sure/ hickey up

my neck i’d love to hear whisper skim my neck more

honey, scared to kiss me in public/ it’s funny, coward.

Not finished.

I go back with the numbers.

bungee around and back to go I gain

I fall I slip up numbering the next.  trick

me treat me I do not want a pork egg

roll into the bathroom turn into a roll.

desires not my desires

trim it in to teach her

her amplified lines must assent

consent to abrase the

flesh undertones.

cake her in the cocktail dress

and never crave desserts.

no second helps; spandex

is a problem not please do

not chew like an American cow

saunter to the ladies’ room to

conquer desire

Words You Might Understand

go ahead throw me down tumbling (as if

I was your molding clay) throw me onto generic

generic double bed box spring you &I (wash

I wash my thoughts into language, I think

I think you doused your brain into clean bowls

too. so do not even

even try to fool me. we know we know

we do this out of selfish.  your sallow

skinny limbs spread sweepingly

“you’re gonna have to sleep on the floor”

sarcastically thinking speaking sleepover

sink slowly.  the psychologist card on your table

dished out more words than you ever considered washing.

PB&dates

tantilize my nerves break open my veins and reach inside my cavernous being what are you trying to do to me?  i saved this all for you you whisper gently as you press harder into my bantam body upside twisted inside out you stare at me sensually from birds eye view you look down on me you look down on me &im naked& guilty/ nothing to hide nevermind my lies why do you save all of this fluid for me why do you whisper so gently but you play the game so hard?  you say you are my muse and you laugh, gather up your thoughts you can not think right now you say i guess i play well for a 22 year old female but who are you to go get lunch with a female friend and tell me about it &try to press all of my buttons at once you are starting to make me anxious and you are pressing my buttons too much, all of them too much, and i am not sure how i should properly respond to you pressing your fingers into my breasts and touching me so i think you think of me as your muse

intimate fruit

ruby red juicy like your succulent tongue on the side of my feverish neck peel layers off& un- ravel them slowly before poking in deep it is not ready to happen it is not ready to happen the grapefruit peels won’t directly align intimacy of the soft thick baby-like skin like-intimacy of the hairline tracing down down your chest fingers flutter through the grapefruit hairs now down tracing around the navel of the matter, down deep exploring the new welcoming skin to skin contact the intimacy of your fingertips against soft lustrous skin to reveal the wondrous juices that torment your breathing tossing it, turning it heavy.

erasure poem #114

exactly how, I

was

like a prisoner.

family supper every night

a poem that was never written

at least fragile and thirty-five to go, okay

keep reminding:

 myself I am perfectly well by myself

just keep doing what I

do myself,            nervous

when I first met you

you would not shut up

and I barely muttered an article

we became so

so quiet, but yet so connected

so fast                                                                       (see I had secrets in parenthesis)

so

instead of words add sex

oh,

and please don’t ever say love you

that’s too super gluey, sticky

John stopped the sentences

I ended the unfinished sentence for him

we weren’t made for a paragraph.

stared and stared:

he doesn’t like me

he doesn’t like me

I wanted

to just crawl in between those black word lines, crawl

I thought I was

content

inside of                                                                                    (with lots and lots of)

words

          of

SEPTEMBER 24, 2011

I rode out of my way to one shot to get coffee

& after locking my bike at anderson, I dropped

dropped &broke the glass jar on the slippery surface

of the temple smooth cement… UGHHH

THIS IS GOING TO BE A BAD DAY UGHHH

you starbucks sf hazelnut latte, no way

in comparison no way charlie brown saturday

 

off to go print my photos portrait

complementary color portrait,

my body image edit my body. with a

click of a mouse shave off some thigh fat.

AMAZING!  think fat thighs go to the gym think

think shave off some fat with a click.

 

go downtown to purchase printer ink

pens paint paintbrush to paint poetry &I

see claire there at the bar think to self to think

I AM SUCH A NERD- and not a tasty junior

junior meal deal whole  wheat sweet

sweet potato fries girly pink aluminum tab can could cure

blue moon beer can: you hit print of

the brawl in hood getting crazy full blue moon

hood cops are cockroaches in the hood

ma is home: body image critique part one

play poem makers to the jive of royskopp

 

HIGH FIVE TO WHOEVER CONQUERED THE SHOWER MONSTER!

 

this september 24^th I figured out my plan for this senior semester:

make poems/visualize poems as pictures/

take pictures of poems/ poetry- yes got it my nena

this counts as photography my nena.

not a bad day for a charlie brown